By Vincent DeGennaro
I’ve spent more than 20 years in the hearing healthcare world.
Not as a clinician, but as someone who has worked alongside practices, supported providers, and helped build businesses centered around hearing care. I’ve seen the data, the outcomes, the success stories.
But if I’m being honest…
For most of my career, hearing loss was something I understood professionally—not personally.
That changed recently.
The Moment I Didn’t Expect
My daughter is six years old. She’s everything to me—full of energy, curious, talkative, and full of love for her family.
She spends a lot of time with her grandparents. Or at least… she used to enjoy it more.
Over the past couple of years, something shifted.
Almost every day when I would pick her up, she would say:
“Daddy, hurry up. I don’t want to see Nana.”
(Nana is what she calls her grandfather.)
At first, I brushed it off. Kids go through phases, I thought.
But it kept happening.
So one day I asked her, “Why don’t you want to see him?”
She didn’t hesitate.
“I just don’t want to be around him anymore.”
Seeing It for Myself
A few weeks ago, we had dinner at my in-laws’ house.
That’s when I really saw it.
My daughter avoided him. She wouldn’t engage, wouldn’t respond, wouldn’t even look his way. And he noticed. You could see it in his face—confusion, sadness… something was clearly off.
Later that night, I sat down with her and asked gently:
“Why are you being mean to Nana?”
Her answer stopped me in my tracks.
“Because he doesn’t listen to me.
I’m not being heard.
He never responds when I talk.”
The Realization
That was the moment everything shifted for me.
This wasn’t a behavioral issue.
This wasn’t a phase.
This was hearing loss.
Once I saw it, I couldn’t unsee it.
I started paying closer attention:
- He was pulling back from conversations
- He wasn’t responding unless spoken to loudly or directly
- He avoided group settings
- He seemed quieter, more distant
And then I learned something else—his wife had been asking him to get his hearing checked for over a year.
He kept putting it off.
Something Deeper Than Hearing
When we talked about it, he admitted something that I’ve heard countless times over the years:
He didn’t want to face getting older.
To him, doing something about his hearing felt like admitting that chapter of life had arrived.
But what I’ve come to realize—now seeing it from the inside—is that untreated hearing loss doesn’t just sit quietly in the background.
It changes people.
Not all at once. Slowly.
At first, it’s subtle:
- Missed words
- Asking people to repeat themselves
- Nodding along without fully understanding
Then it becomes:
- Avoiding conversations
- Withdrawing from social situations
- Choosing silence over struggle
And eventually…
- Disconnection
- Isolation
- A version of someone that feels… different
The Part That Hurt the Most
What I wasn’t prepared for was the impact on my daughter.
She didn’t understand hearing loss.
All she knew was:
“I’m talking… and he’s not listening.”
To her, it felt like she didn’t matter in those moments.
That broke my heart.
Because from his perspective, he wasn’t ignoring her.
But from hers… he was.
And somewhere in between, a relationship started to fade.
Watching the Change
My wife and I have talked about it more recently.
She said something that stuck with me:
“It feels like he’s aged so much in the last couple of years.”
Not physically.
But in presence. In energy. In sharpness.
And just yesterday, he fell down the stairs in his home.
That was a moment that shook all of us.
Because now it’s not just about conversations or connection.
It’s about safety. Independence. Quality of life.
What I’ve Come to Understand
After 20 years around this industry, I thought I understood hearing loss.
But I didn’t fully understand it until I saw what it takes away.
Not just sound.
But connection.
Confidence.
Identity.
And the small, everyday moments that make up a life.
The Hard Truth
You can’t force someone to do something about their hearing.
I’ve learned that the hard way.
People have to be ready.
But what I wish more people understood is this:
The longer hearing loss goes untreated,
the more it quietly takes with it.
And by the time it becomes impossible to ignore…
so much has already been lost.
Why I’m Sharing This
I’m not writing this as someone selling anything.
I’m writing this as a father.
As a husband.
As someone watching a person I care about slowly disconnect from the people around him—not because he wants to, but because he can’t fully engage anymore.
And as someone who now sees the full picture:
Hearing loss doesn’t just affect the person experiencing it.
It affects everyone who loves them.
A Thought to Sit With
If someone in your life has been asking you to get your hearing checked…
It’s probably not about the hearing.
It’s about wanting you present.
Wanting you connected.
Wanting you there—fully.
Because at the end of the day…
being heard goes both ways.